Wedding Wolves Group Chat - Wedding Menu
- nina0005
- Jul 19
- 4 min read
Okay, guys, if you've read Yours Until Forever, you've met Tim, Colin, and Marin. And of course, Gage & Amelia. If you've read their bonus epilogue, you've read their group chats that Tim initiated. LOL, I love writing these! Tim is so OTT, and fun to write.
In the lead up to the release of Gage & Amelia's wedding book, I've been writing more of these chats. I hope they make you smile.
N xx
Tim: OKAY. URGENT. CRITICAL. LIFE-ALTERING.
Tim: We need to finalize the wedding menu and SOME OF YOU (Amelia) have not given me the attention I deserve.
Tim: So I have prepared a draft menu based on vibe, aesthetic, and spiritual nourishment.
Tim: Courses are as follows:
Opening Emotion: A soup that tastes like falling in love with someone who sees you clearly and still chooses you.
Main Character Entrée: Dark meat, wild herbs, and a rosemary jus steeped in soul-binding devotion. Optional edible flowers for aesthetic alignment.
Pre-Dessert Palate Cleanser: A single raspberry served on a silk-wrapped ceramic with a handwritten note that says “You are loved.”
Dessert: Layers of emotion. At least one must contain chocolate, one must contain longing, and one must remind you why you said yes.
Marin: I would like to second this vibe and also add that the welcome cocktail should be called Eternally Yours.
Marin: It’s lavender gin, elderflower, and a dangerously high concentration of forever feelings.
Colin: Are you two high right now or just running on vibes and Pinterest fumes?
Tim: BOTH.
Tim: It’s called passion, Colin.
Amelia: I want bread. Just…really good bread.
Tim: Amazing. We’ll have a sourdough starter named after your emotional rebirth and laced with affirmations.
Tim: Maybe we’ll let it sit on the table with a little place card that says “Not hard to love. Just needs warm hands.”
Marin: And the butter will be whipped with rose, honey, and commitment.
Marin: It should taste like yes, every time.
Colin: You people are not well.
Gage:
We’re not doing a raspberry on a ceramic tile.
There will be an actual meal. Not this fever-dream menu you're concocting.
Amelia likes steak. Add steak. She will eat. The rest of you can manifest whatever dinner you want.
Tim: And emotional sides! Like… roasted root vegetables for grounding and brussels sprouts for generational healing.
Gage: No one is healing at this wedding. They are eating. And leaving full.
Colin: Finally. A voice of reason with a knife set.
Gage: I already booked the caterer.
Tim: YOU WHAT???
Marin: Gage. We were emotionally flavor-mapping. You can’t just drop a catering contact like that's not a betrayal.
Gage: You had three weeks and fourteen mood boards.
Gage: I locked it in before someone suggested “mushroom risotto for inner child reintegration.”
Amelia: Mushroom risotto sounds good, though. Can we get that?
Gage: You can have anything you want, Princess.
Marin: Look at you, using emotional healing language like it didn’t burn your soul to type it.
Tim: Okay, but that was a textbook healing buzzword deployment and I’m honestly so proud of you.
Colin: Gage. You've been in this group chat too long and absorbed the language of your captors. Should we be worried?
Tim: Okay, first of all? Rude. My soul just left my body in a sequined sweatsuit, Colin.
Tim: Second, I would like to return to discussing the caterers and veto the phrase “locked in” because it implies the contract is final and I haven’t emotionally connected with this menu yet.
Marin: Agreed. We were meant to reach energetic consensus on the menu before anyone started signing contracts.
Colin: It’s a wedding. Not an emotional vision quest with catering.
Marin: False. It’s both.
Tim: Also, Gage, I’m going to need a full breakdown of:
Protein options
Dessert table selections
Whether the espresso bar includes oat milk and wedding-based latte art
Whether there will be gold leaf
AND whether I can have a separate macaron tower that spells out “Justice for Tim”
Gage:
Yes.
Whatever dessert Amelia chooses.
Oat milk and art are not my concern.
No gold leaf.
And the macaron tower dies here.
Tim: I accept those terms. But what about if I design my tower in a private room? I’m thinking a velvet chaise lounge and a sign that says “No heteronormativity after 9pm.”
Gage: No tower. No lounge. No after 9pm.
Marin: Also. We're going to need a separate menu for people doing shadow work.
Colin: No one's doing shadow work at this wedding.
Marin: That's exactly what someone avoiding their inner child would say.
Gage:
There will be food.
It will be good.
Amelia will love it.
You will all deal.
Tim: You can’t steamroll our vision because you're the groom and think that puts you above the vibe council. This is not a dictatorship. It's a collaborative artistic experience.
Gage: I can and I will.
Amelia: I want chocolate cake. With raspberries. And frosting.
Marin: YES. We will manifest a cake that understands your love and tastes like forever.
Tim: It must be layered. Emotionally and literally. With more than just chocolate and raspberries and frosting.
Tim: This cake will carry your marriage through storms and every season of your eternity. It must channel that with its layers.
Marin: I will consult the cake oracle immediately.
Gage: You’re getting chocolate and raspberry. That’s the cake. End of discussion.
Colin: Praise be.
Tim: You’re so lucky I love you, Amelia.
Tim: Otherwise I would emotionally boycott this wedding and haunt the cake like a glitter ghost of rejected menu concepts.
Marin: I would join you. But like, with bells.
Amelia: I regret asking for bread.
Tim: TOO LATE. The bread is now a metaphor. It symbolizes how far you’ve come and how much you deserve softness.
>> These characters are from my book, Yours Until Forever, which is the fourth book in my Only Yours Series. You can read this book as a standalone. Find it here.
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